Watching someone you love, love somebody else
Love is one of the trickiest things to manage. Often times we love people we don't want to love or that simply don't reciprocate. I believe that at least once in everyone's life, we unfortunately have to watch a person we love fall for someone else. It is one of the most heartbreaking things to witness and feel. You have to keep a smile on your face because of course you don't want to seem weak. You still double tap their pictures while you are cringing on the inside; telling yourself that it’s not fair and that you would treat them so much better. Anytime that you see a tweet suggesting corruption in their relationship, you get slightly excited in hopes they will finally see you. Sorrow soon fills your soul a few days later when you see them posting casually with their loved one again.
That moment that you realize that your fairy tale ending with this person may never happen will crush you. Realizing that no matter how much you love them, it won't change the fact that it’s just on your end. Knowing that they are putting their efforts into someone else will make you feel lost in a way that you may have never experienced. Your heart will literally hurt. It will be broken. So broken that you may feel emotionless. Tears won’t fall but your spirit will. In a situation like this, you aren’t only losing the love that you have for this person, you are losing the person and everything that they mean to you. You are losing the life you thought you were going to have. The fairy tale ending will come crumbling down, brick by brick.
Love is powerful and evil at the same time. While we have control over who we love, simultaneously we don't. Why is it that when you want to stop loving someone you can't but falling in love can be a tedious process? Why do we open ourselves up to be hurt? Why can’t we force people to love us back? These are all questions that I once asked myself before. I used to look at love as a bad thing but, now I have this large amount of gratitude for it. I truly believe that it is so powerful to be able to open your heart up to love and to accept love. Quite honestly, it’s not easy to do that.
When you are watching the person you love fall for someone else, you have to find the self control and put yourself first. Sometimes that may mean taking a step back from them, even if it might hurt their feelings. I understand how that could be difficult to do being that you love them and all but, why continue to subject yourself to pain? Unfollow them, delete their number, and whatever else you have to do. Protect yourself first, especially if this person knows that you have feelings for them.
Through the pain you will begin to redefine who you are as a person. You will have to erase the beautiful picture that you once painted. It will be tough to do this but, the beauty in it is that you get to paint a new one. Old hobbies that you forgot you enjoyed may resurface. You may even find some new things that you enjoy doing. Life's a journey and it doesn't always go as planned. It may be hard to see the light when in the midst of the situation but it will come. Slowly but surely. The main thing to do is remain grateful. Something that I say all the time. We are blessed to live this life. We are fortunate to experience love and though it may hurt, this situation has taught you valuable life lessons that you may not have gotten any other way.
Loving someone who is not paying you any attention can take a toll on your self-esteem. You may feel less than or not enough. If you have noticed, not every puzzle piece fits together. You may have thought you found the perfect match because you fit on one side but sooner or later you'll realize that piece is just reallllly similar to the right one. You are never wrong for loving someone. I know it sucks to feel this way and for them to not have the same emotion. Honestly, you can't force anyone to love you. That’s not your job and it’s not their fault that they don’t have the same emotions that you have. This is again where gratitude plays apart. Whether you were mislead or just fell silently, it’s up to you to resolve that. It’s up to you to love yourself enough to let go and move on.
This is a situation where bliss and pain coexist. I believe that heartbreak is one of the most painful things to deal with. It’s hard to get over someone and move on. Especially if you see them with someone else just enjoying their life, not thinking about you. The blissful part is that one day you will get to experience that if you allow yourself to heal properly. The key to letting go and moving on is remaining grateful and learning. Don’t harbor any regrets or hard feelings but take the lesson from the situation. I wish you many blessings. Namaste.
Have you ever had to watch the love of your life love someone else? How did you cope? How did it change how you love now?
