To the girls who were cheated on...

Cheating has become such a common and talked about issue. It’s to wonder if there are any people

in the world left that understand commitment and loyalty. I blame a lot of it on social media.

We are now able to see so many “better” people and all struggle with FOMO. Why be in a

relationship with someone who meets all your needs when you can talk briefly to the airheaded

girl with a big butt? The other part of the issue is that social media allows us to talk publicly

about getting cheated on. Before we didn’t have platforms to blast our exes/partners for their

wrongdoings. If you have been cheated on, trust me I understand. Out of the three “serious”

relationships I have been in, 2 of them ended with me getting cheated on. *uses platform to

blast exes lol*

When someone cheats on you, the emotions you feel are vastly varied. One minute you’re

happy, the next you’re pissed, then you feel guilty and so on. In my opinion, getting cheated on

makes healing from a relationship ten times more difficult. Going through this, I often felt like I

was psycho. I didn’t know how to handle the hurt and pain that I was feeling. I would feel so

guilty for crying over a guy who didn’t think I was good enough. I would be happy that he left

me because “I could do so much better.” Then, I would feel jealous and enraged every time I

saw him post with his new girlfriend. Trying to wrap your head around the situation is nearly

impossible. We will never be able to comprehend why exactly people do what they do. We can

only control what we do and our responses. Yes, I know, easier said than done.

Now, I am not going to say I have always responded the best in these situations. Actually, I have

responded piss poor to these situations each time they have happened, let’s be real. However, I

am going to tell you that if you get cheated on live in a state of gratitude. It’s hard to move on

and let go but for your greater good you have too. I know it’s a tough pill to swallow but

seriously the guy/girl never really loved you if they were okay with hurting you this way. So,

walk away peacefully and find the person who is willing to be loyal and honest with you.

People who cheat often like to place blame on you. It doesn’t help the fact that more than likely

you feel like you were in the wrong anyways. They know how hurt and vulnerable you are. Plus,

why would they take accountability for their actions? That would just confirm that they are a

crappy person. The thing that took me the longest to accept is that the issue was never with me

but with my partner at the time. I didn’t ask to be cheated on and no matter what I did or did

not do, if someone wanted to cheat on me…. they were going to do it. It had nothing to do with

me as an individual and whether I was good enough. Trust me, I was good enough If not better

and so are you. You can analyze the third party they ever so politely brought into your union

and try to find the differences. You may be able to make a list up of random mindless things but

do they matter? You are a beautiful person and if you loved that person with all your heart, you

are no less than anyone. Don’t ever let someone make you feel less than because of their lack

of honesty and morals.

Your feelings throughout this journey of healing are valid. You are never wrong for loving

someone. You are not wrong for still loving someone even after they hurt you. The only time

you are wrong is when you allow someone else’s wrong doings make you cold. Getting cheated

on can cause someone so much pain that they shut off the world and any potential suitors. You

may find yourself hurting people because you haven’t dealt with your emotions in the correct

way. Take that into consideration for your ex-partner as well. Hurt people, hurt people. Now, I

am not saying it’s okay to cheat just because you have been hurt. I am not saying they are right.

All I am saying is that sometimes people are fighting their own battles we know nothing about.

In the end, the issue is with them and not you. You can’t fight someone else’s battles for them.

The only thing that you can do is trust that someone has properly dealt with their problems

before entering a relationship with you. Again, you are never wrong for loving someone. Deal

with your pain. See the beauty in the situation and always express gratitude. I know it may take

a while to heal but do it. Love yourself first and know that you are not a victim in this situation.

You are the victor. You opened your heart to love and were shown that this individual was not

meant to continue on the path of life with you. Sometimes the universe/god has a weird way of

getting people out of our way so that we can reach our higher purpose. Stay grounded and

again…. love yourself.