To the girls who were cheated on...
Cheating has become such a common and talked about issue. It’s to wonder if there are any people
in the world left that understand commitment and loyalty. I blame a lot of it on social media.
We are now able to see so many “better” people and all struggle with FOMO. Why be in a
relationship with someone who meets all your needs when you can talk briefly to the airheaded
girl with a big butt? The other part of the issue is that social media allows us to talk publicly
about getting cheated on. Before we didn’t have platforms to blast our exes/partners for their
wrongdoings. If you have been cheated on, trust me I understand. Out of the three “serious”
relationships I have been in, 2 of them ended with me getting cheated on. *uses platform to
blast exes lol*
When someone cheats on you, the emotions you feel are vastly varied. One minute you’re
happy, the next you’re pissed, then you feel guilty and so on. In my opinion, getting cheated on
makes healing from a relationship ten times more difficult. Going through this, I often felt like I
was psycho. I didn’t know how to handle the hurt and pain that I was feeling. I would feel so
guilty for crying over a guy who didn’t think I was good enough. I would be happy that he left
me because “I could do so much better.” Then, I would feel jealous and enraged every time I
saw him post with his new girlfriend. Trying to wrap your head around the situation is nearly
impossible. We will never be able to comprehend why exactly people do what they do. We can
only control what we do and our responses. Yes, I know, easier said than done.
Now, I am not going to say I have always responded the best in these situations. Actually, I have
responded piss poor to these situations each time they have happened, let’s be real. However, I
am going to tell you that if you get cheated on live in a state of gratitude. It’s hard to move on
and let go but for your greater good you have too. I know it’s a tough pill to swallow but
seriously the guy/girl never really loved you if they were okay with hurting you this way. So,
walk away peacefully and find the person who is willing to be loyal and honest with you.
People who cheat often like to place blame on you. It doesn’t help the fact that more than likely
you feel like you were in the wrong anyways. They know how hurt and vulnerable you are. Plus,
why would they take accountability for their actions? That would just confirm that they are a
crappy person. The thing that took me the longest to accept is that the issue was never with me
but with my partner at the time. I didn’t ask to be cheated on and no matter what I did or did
not do, if someone wanted to cheat on me…. they were going to do it. It had nothing to do with
me as an individual and whether I was good enough. Trust me, I was good enough If not better
and so are you. You can analyze the third party they ever so politely brought into your union
and try to find the differences. You may be able to make a list up of random mindless things but
do they matter? You are a beautiful person and if you loved that person with all your heart, you
are no less than anyone. Don’t ever let someone make you feel less than because of their lack
of honesty and morals.
Your feelings throughout this journey of healing are valid. You are never wrong for loving
someone. You are not wrong for still loving someone even after they hurt you. The only time
you are wrong is when you allow someone else’s wrong doings make you cold. Getting cheated
on can cause someone so much pain that they shut off the world and any potential suitors. You
may find yourself hurting people because you haven’t dealt with your emotions in the correct
way. Take that into consideration for your ex-partner as well. Hurt people, hurt people. Now, I
am not saying it’s okay to cheat just because you have been hurt. I am not saying they are right.
All I am saying is that sometimes people are fighting their own battles we know nothing about.
In the end, the issue is with them and not you. You can’t fight someone else’s battles for them.
The only thing that you can do is trust that someone has properly dealt with their problems
before entering a relationship with you. Again, you are never wrong for loving someone. Deal
with your pain. See the beauty in the situation and always express gratitude. I know it may take
a while to heal but do it. Love yourself first and know that you are not a victim in this situation.
You are the victor. You opened your heart to love and were shown that this individual was not
meant to continue on the path of life with you. Sometimes the universe/god has a weird way of
getting people out of our way so that we can reach our higher purpose. Stay grounded and
again…. love yourself.